With all due apologies to Bill S., now is the summer of our discontent.
We’re at that awkward moment when our brains, deprived of baseball for over a month, flail uselessly as they sink into black ocean of despair.
“The Winter Meetings are over, and our lineup still looks like garbage! How are we supposed to find anything hopeful in this mess?”
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret: there’s nothing hopeful about a major league roster–any major league roster–in mid-December.
It’s going to change. Players are going to be traded away, signed out of free agency, decide to retire, have a break-out season in winter ball, and meet about nine hundred thirty-seven other fates, positive or negative.
Spring Training is still two whole months away. You can write a novel in half that time! (Well, some people do. But I wasn’t planning to talk about NaNoWriMo today.) You’ve got at least sixteen chances to win the lottery between now and then. (You can use your winnings to follow your team around the country and watch every game live.)
My point is that even the teams widely regarded as the front-runners this season hate their rosters right now. If your GM wants to weep every time he sees that gaping hole in the roster at [insert position-of-concern here], why should you feel any better about it.
This is going to sound heretical, but so be it. My advice is that you take a couple of weeks off from baseball*. Eat just a little too much–and give the difference between “a little too much” and “Oh, God, I’m never going to eat again” to someone who needs a meal. Pat a cat–better yet, adopt one from a rescue organization. Instead of estimating WAR for hypothetical trades, take someone special to the movies–did you know there are highly entertaining films that have nothing to do with baseball?
* Unless you’re a GM. You’ve got a roster to fix, so no slacking off for you!
I’ll probably get sued for saying it, but honestly, winter is coming. Even the winter of our discontent. Time enough to look at the roster on Valentine’s Day.