And Now For Something…

Because I’m in the mood for something light, how about a list of the funniest religious-themed songs?

Before I start, one spoiler: despite the blog title, “Every Sperm Is Sacred” is not on the list. Humor is, of course, a very subjective thing; I never found that song particularly amusing, and in the current political climate, it’s even less so.

Let’s begin.

Honorable Mention 2: “Spirit in the Sky”

This makes the list not for the song itself, but for the videos it inspires. Norman Greenbaum’s original video is a classic, what with cows as religious icons and Milkman Jesus. But for sheer, laugh-out-loud bizarritude (bizarrity?), you can’t beat the video for the cover by Doctor and The Medics.

Honorable Mention 1: “Jesus Is Just Alright”

It’s obviously the QA analyst side of my nature that finds a grammatical ambiguity so amusing. Arthur Reynolds, who wrote the song, obviously meant “just” as an intensifier in the sense of “no question”, but I can never hear it that way. To me, it always comes across as a minimizer. “Jesus? Ah, he’s okay, but there are better options.” Ambiguity Review, anyone? That the Doobie Brother’s cover is the best known version just makes it funnier for me, since they’re obviously invested in the intended meaning. Oddly enough, the original recording seems to emphasize the word “just”, making it sound more like the performers disagreed with the composer’s intent.

Moving on to the songs that were intended to be funny.

Fourth Place: “Jesus Is Easy”

Martin Mull landed two songs in the list. This one makes a virtue out of Christianity as the lazy choice. Hard to disagree with such a convincing argument.

Third Place: “Where Can I Go?”

Remember when Gary Trudeau’s Jimmy Thudpucker claimed to be the most-downloaded musician on the Internet? This is a very Seventies number about a very Seventies approach to religious identity. What can I say? I grew up in the Seventies; the song appeals to me.

Second Place: “Jesus Loves Me (But He Can’t Stand You)”

If there was ever a bluegrass gospel number that captured the itinerant Midwest mega-church wannabe zeitgeist, this is it. Thank you Austin Lounge Lizards.

First Place: “Jesus Christ Football Star”

What the Lizards did for the Midwest, Martin Mull does for the Southwest, home to Friday Night High School Football as the state religion, narrowly outdrawing the actual mega-churches.

Did I miss any goodies? Tell me where I’ve gone wrong; I’ll be happy to add your favorites to my list–assuming, of course, I find them as hysterical as you do.

Oh, Crap

I’d use a stronger word, but Sledpress beat me to it a couple of years back.

Yes, it’s Christmas “music” time again. And already it’s clear that whoever is programming our collective soundtrack for the month of December hasn’t developed an imagination over the past eleven months.

I’m on record with my feelings about “The Little Drummer Boy”. This year I warned my cow-orkers that if I hear it 25 times, I will go postal*. I’m keeping track on the staff whiteboard, because I believe in giving fair warning. Granted, they’ll probably laugh and cheer me on–does anybody like that song–but if so, I wouldn’t want anyone to miss out on the fun.

* To be clear, the only potential victims are the speakers. After all, the music is programmed by someone at company headquarters. Though if I find out who keeps cranking the volume up, a kneecapping or other non-fatal remonstrance might be on the table.

Nor is TLDB the worst we have to face this year. Early returns suggest that “Last Christmas” will be the go-to song this year. The season only started a week ago, and I’ve heard that piece of tripe* played multiple times within an hour. Once might have been a bit of carelessness in building the playlist, but it’s happened twice. Normally the rule is that once is chance, twice is coincidence, and three times is enemy action. But when it comes to Christmas music and other deadly weapons, I prefer to play it safe: I’m assuming malice aforethought.

* No offense intended to anyone who likes actual tripe–you know, that white honeycomb stuff that’s the foundation of menudo.

Music programmers, consider this a warning: I have a copy of “Christmas at Ground Zero” and I’m not afraid to use it. Bluetooth speakers are cheap and can be scattered around as necessary.

On the bright side, I’ve made it through the first week without hearing “White Christmas”*. In fact, I haven’t heard any songs that explicitly mention snow. I don’t know if that’s a conscious decision on someone’s part. “Maybe if we don’t mention the white stuff, we won’t get any major blizzards this year.” Probably not; it’s too logical a connection to have been made by someone who thinks “My Favorite Things” is a Christmas song.

* Mind you, I don’t especially dislike “White Christmas”. I just don’t particularly like it. Call me Crosbynostic.

Come to think of it, I’ve yet to hear last year’s “most tolerable” award winner (“All I Want for Christmas Is You”). Has it fallen out of favor? Or are the programmers saving it for later in the season? Could be the latter. After all, we’re still in the early stages, when the Christmas songs are mixed in with the regular playlist. Once they come to dominate, the selection will expand.

At least I hope it will. Can you imagine spending eight hours a day listening to the same five songs over and over? I can. Consider: given five songs, there are 120 ways to arrange them. If the average length of a Christmas song is roughly four minutes, that’s eight hours before you have to repeat a sequence.

I’m terrified.

I Hadn’t Planned to Go Here…

…but once the press got involved, I didn’t feel I had much of a choice.

In last week’s post about the end of the Jodie Whittaker Era, I mentioned that breaks with established continuity tick me off.

I’ve just learned that there’s something that ticks me off even more.

One of those continuity breaks–the most prominent one–was David Tennant appearing in his own clothes, rather than in the outfit Jodie had sported for the last three seasons. Every regeneration to date has left the new Doctor wearing the previous Doctor’s outfit; part of the fun of the next episode has always been learning what the new actor will be wearing and seeing where the outfit comes from.

I’m sure there will be an in-show rationale for the change. Maybe it’ll even make it into a script.

But the real reason? Well, maybe “real” reason? According to showrunner Russell T Davies, it was done to avoid offending the transphobic and the bigots. Yes, the same idiots who have been offended for the past three seasons. Which, okay, we don’t want to get excoriated in the press any more than we have to. I can see that. But…

The other reason, Russell says, is to avoid offending the drag community. “To put a great big six-foot Scotsman into [a woman’s clothing] looks like we’re taking the mickey.” Fair enough. A better reason than the first, IMNSHO. But…

What about Sacha Dhawan? In the very same episode, Sacha, as the Master, forces a regeneration on the Doctor, effectively reshaping her body into his. Wearing–surprise!–her clothes.

Clothes which, I’ll point out, while tailored for a woman’s body, do not include a skirt, dress, burka, sari, or any other item of clothing that is not normally worn by men in Western European derived cultures.

Are the bigots or the drag queens going to be less offended by a five-foot-seven man of Indian descent wearing “women’s” clothes than the aforementioned six-foot-one Scot? Actually, the bigoted probably would be less offended by it. But if that’s also true of the LGBT community, that says something about that community I’d rather not know.

And yes, I’ll grant that Russell knows the British press far, far better than I do. But really, something’s just not adding up here.

I’m sure there was a good, valid reason why David didn’t wear Jodie’s clothes, but I’m equally sure the official explanation ain’t it. It smacks of a retrocon, and a particularly clumsy one at that.

Given that Jodie is only five-foot-five-and-change, it’s not impossible that the seams gave out when David tried on her pants (though a long jacket–and a well-prepared wardrobe mistress*–can cover a multitude of wardrobe malfunctions). Or maybe there’s some other innocent explanation.

* Is there a generally accepted gender neutral title for this role? My quick web search didn’t turn up any thing.

But clumsy attempts to cover Lady Godiva in a mantle of controversy avoidance? Nah, not buying it.

End of an Era

And so we’ve arrived at the end of Jodi Whittaker’s time as the Doctor. (Yeah, as usual, I’m running a couple of weeks behind. Had to finish the first season of The Sandman first. Hopefully there’ll be a second season. But I digress. As usual.)

The haters can stop hating. Not that they will, of course, but they can. After all, their childhood is still there, safely in the past. And the next Doctor will (presumably) have dangly bits.

Which was probably inevitable. Gods and goddesses forfend we should have two female Doctors in a row. Ncuti Gatwa has been well-publicized as the next Doctor. But at the end of Jodi’s last show, we instead got former and now future Doctor David Tennant instead. Because the BBC apparently feels that a diamond anniversary has to be backward looking.

Is it unreasonable of me to suggest a connection between this little surprise, delaying the first appearance of a black Doctor*, and the announced deal with Disney+ for American broadcast and financial investment?

* Yes, we have already seen a black Doctor–and a female one at that–but Jo Martin hasn’t been the protagonist in any of the episodes she’s appeared in. Personally, I’d love at least a couple of seasons of her story, but I’m confident in predicting it’s never going to happen. It’s abundantly clear that nobody in a position to shape the future of the show is interested in exploring the Doctor’s past beyond what we’ve already seen.

Three episodes with David a year from now, before Ncuti steps in. At least, that’s the announced plan. Much could happen in a year; as the saying goes, maybe the horse will learn to sing.


There were missteps and missed opportunities during Jodi’s time, but on the whole, it was a good time. She’ll never be my favorite Doctor (still Tom Baker) or even favorite in the modern era (Peter Capaldi). But I don’t regret watching her shows*. Some I’d even rewatch: “The Haunting of Villa Diodati” and “Spyfall, Part 1” spring to mind.

* Except for “Orphan 55”. Now that was painful. But no more so than a dozen or so episodes starring other Doctors.

As for that final episode, well… Breaks with established continuity always tick me off and there were a few of them here. Underutilized characters. Unanswered questions (what flavor of ice cream does Yaz prefer?). On the other hand, there were some excellent lines–I’m particularly fond of “Volcano Inspector”–and I love the idea of a Former Companions Support Group. Hopefully that won’t be a one-off bit. I’d love to see them act as an ongoing resource for the Doctor. Including chapters on other planets in other times–we know the Doctor has scattered companions (and one-time friends and helpers) across pretty much the entire reach of time and space.

Like all of Jodi’s tenure, some hits, some misses, but overall positive.

Thanks for your time, Jodi. Don’t be a stranger.

I Suppose That Was Inevitable

But it didn’t have to be.

I’m talking about Sing 2. And before anyone points out that the movie came out last year, I’m well aware of that. But in these chronologically challenged times (is today Thursday or macaroni salad?), that matters a lot less than it would have three years ago. And, besides, I’m usually late with my film commentaries; this is just a bit later than the norm.

Disclaimer: although I rewatched Sing before watching Sing 2, I have zero interest in rewatching the latter for the sake of this commentary. It’s been months, and I’m quite sure I’ll get some details wrong, but I’m not gonna pollute my eyeballs and ears any further.

Anyway, given the huge box office success that was the original Sing, a sequel was inevitable. But it didn’t have to be bad.

Or at least not this bad.

You may recall that I didn’t hate Sing. It set out to target a specific market, and did a fine job of hitting the target without shutting out other viewers. I compared it favorably to one out of any random formula novel-for-kids series, and likened it to a Rooney/Garland musical from back in the olden days.

Sing 2 takes its cues from the Vegas revues it’s apparently trying to parody: slick, formulaic, and soulless.

We get that right from the beginning. Remember the plot of Sing? “Save the theater.” Sing 2 is built around “How do we get out of this dump of a theater?” Buster and the gang don’t want the talent scout to recognize how great their current show is so they can pack in more theatergoers. No, they’re looking for a ticket to the big time: same show, same performers, different location (specifically, the entertainment capital of the world. Pardon. THE ENTERTAINMENT CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.)

When they’re rejected, they close the theater and set off on their quest. And everything happens by rote. Buster’s role is reduced to repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth while everyone else saves him: Gunter writes the play, Miss Crawly tracks down the film’s MacGuffin (aka Clay Calloway), Ash triggers the obligatory “Get off your ass and do something” realization that resolves the MacGuffin part of the plot, Suki rescues Buster from the villain. The gang all find their own motivations for overcoming their hangups while Buster just digs himself–and them–deeper into trouble*.

* I’m nowhere close to being the first to be bothered by Buster and Meena’s Me Too scene, which is arguably Buster’s lowest moment in the film.

And, and, and… I could go on, but I’ll spare you.

Except for one thing: Buster’s big pitch is that the gang’s show will not only feature the MacGuffin (voiced by Bono of U2), but include a new song by him. And, to be fair, Sing 2 does have a new U2 song. But it’s not in Buster’s show. Instead, we get a thirty-year-old track, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”, at the show’s climactic moment. That new U2 song is relegated to the movie’s epilogue.

That’s a jarring moment for the audience–or should be. But, even worse, it doesn’t make sense in the movie’s internal logic. If it’s supposed to be a “new song”, why does everyone in the audience know it? And if it’s not, why in the name of all that’s sensible, would MacGuffin sign on to sing it every night (and matinee) for an indefinite run? After all, he had to get out of the rut he was in. Why go from one rut to another?

Don’t bother with Sing 2. Better, actively avoid it. Don’t scar your kids’ psyches–but if you have no choice but to let them see it, take your tranquilizers, take your earplugs, and take your blindfolds.

And that’s what truly sad about this sequel. If it had stayed true to the original, it could have been, if not awesome, at least no bad thing. Consider: what if, instead of trying to move up to TECotW, Buster had been trying to recover from a flop of a show that put his beloved theater in the red. Performers and crew leaving because they’re not getting paid. We still could have gotten the quest to recover the MacGuffin–only with Buster taking more of an active role in persuading him–and then using him as a lure to bring back the rest of the gang to rescue the theater once again.

Sure, it’s the same plot. But that’s the point of those old series novels. The characters and their motivations stay the same. The plots are similar. Only the details change. It could have worked here, too.

Oh, Come On!

Time once again for me to express sincere dismay over the musical taste of the general public.

In this case, I’m appalled by the results of the poll run by SiriusXM’s “40s Junction” a couple of months ago. The intent was to put together a Top 100 songs of the World War Two era. Voting was in March from a predetermined list–although voters could apparently add their own nominations–and the results were unveiled over the Fourth of July weekend in the form of a broadcast of all 100 tracks.

Oddly, though the show aired several times that weekend, the final list was never published anywhere I’ve been able to find. My thanks to the anonymous SiriusXM staffer who sent it to me. I’m not sure about the legalities of posting it here–the email didn’t state that it would be okay. If I’d compiled it myself from the broadcasts, I’d be on solid ground, but since it’s someone else’s work, I’d just as soon not risk a copyright violation. (Capitalization of the titles is as in the document I received. I’da done it different, but I’m bowing to authority here.)

But I can certainly call out a few of the most egregious lowlights. That’s unquestionably fair use.

And, if we’re talking “low”, where better to start than at the very bottom of the list?

Number 100 is “As Time Goes By”. Yes, the Dooley Wilson recording. The definitive version of an acknowledged classic. Mind you, I have issues with it. It’s sexist and, IMNSHO, unduly conflates love and hate. But regardless, a great song. There are a lot of amazingly good recordings from the early Forties, but for this one to land all the way down at Number 100, there had to have been a lot of truly astounding music, right?

Like Number 99. Which is, uh…”Johnny Zero”, a nearly forgotten piece of tripe about a student with crippling math anxiety–possibly a learning disorder–which forces him to drop out of school and become a wildly successful fighter pilot.

Other classics that came in ahead of Dooley include “Happy Holiday” (93), “Personality*” (87), and “I Said No!**” (89)

* An annoyingly popular ditty that’s sexist and condescending.

** But still better than this one, which–depending on how literally you take the last line–is either an account of date rape or an early precursor to Amway (1959) sales tactics.

So much for that theory. Compounding the injustice? Rudy Vallee’s version landed at Number 27.

Moving on up. Or down, as the case may be.

I’ll skip past “Flying Home” (Lionel Hampton at 97) and “You’d Be So Nice To Come Home To” (Dinah Shore at 84). But how in all that’s unholy did the incredibly sexist and racist ditty “Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief” make it all the way up to Number 61? All due respect to composer Hoagy Carmichael, but this isn’t his best work. Not even close.

A similar offense against good taste has the culturally insensitive (not to mention pointless and obnoxious) earworm “The Hut-Sut Song” at Number 44. At least it got beat by the slightly less offensive and much funnier “Pistol Packin’ Mama” (41) and “Tangerine” (37).

I’m not fond of “Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree”, but I don’t have any actual problem with it. I can live with it coming in at Number 25, though I am glad to see it’s Glenn Miller’s version and not the slightly disturbed Andrews Sisters recording.

In the context of their time “Comin’ In On A Wing And A Prayer” (24), “When The Lights Go On Again” (16) and “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition” (6) are reasonably positioned. It does bother me to see them so far up nearly a century later. Musically, none are anything astounding, but they’re more than adequate. The sentiments are appropriate for wartime, but it’s depressing to think they still resonate now.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know my feelings about “On the Atchison, Topeka, And The Santa Fe” (18), “Swinging On A Star” (13), and “Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive” (5). Despite negative comments I might have made about them, they’re all worthy of inclusion on this list. I might not have put them quite this high, but no significant objection.

Likewise, it’s great to see the Mills Brothers put three songs on the list, including two in the top twenty. If I ruled the world (a depressing thought), I’d have put “You Always Hurt The One You Love” (17) higher than “Paper Doll” (7), but that’s a quibble.

And if you think “Johnny Zero” making the top 100 is puzzling, try rationalizing “G.I. Jive” cracking the top ten. It’s at Number 9, just ahead of Frank Sinatra’s “You’ll Never Know”. Frankie making the upper reaches of the list, sure. But an unabashed novelty song?

Then there’s Number 4. “Rum And Coca-Cola“. Catchy tune. Wildly popular. But the themes (American imperialism and prostitution) and the Andrews Sisters’ somewhat disingenuous comments about it make it hard for me to see it as worthy of it’s position near the top of the list.

Weird to see a Christmas song near the top of the list, but I can’t think of a single reason why Bing Crosby’s rendition of “White Christmas” shouldn’t be here. If anything, I’m surprised it didn’t make Number 1, given the general public’s fondness for sentiment.

Top honors went to “Chattanooga Choo Choo”, which just beat out “Sentimental Journey”. Train songs are popular, it would seem, as are paens to revisiting one’s past. But while both are worthy of high places in the rankings, do they really belong all the way at the top?

Poor Dooley.

Chicken Fairy

When I was growing up, our family had its own version of “When You Wish Upon a Star”.

Well, not a full version, just a single verse:

When you wish upon a bird

Makes no difference if you’re heard

Legendary Chicken Fairy

Dreams come true

Seems like the sort of thing you would hear on the playground, but I never did. And nobody I’ve asked ever heard it on their playground either.

I always figured Dad had written it. It’s not an unreasonable assumption: like many writers, he liked playing with words. He was responsible for many of the new words that made up our family-specific vocabulary. And many writers string together a parody verse now and then.

And no, the verse doesn’t quite scan. If anything, that lends credence to the theory that Dad wrote it. He had a notoriously poor sense of rhythm–and counting syllables only gets you so far.

But the other day, I decided on a whim to see if anyone else knew that verse. I googled “Legendary Chicken Fairy” and found

The tune is different, of course, but there’s a definite similarity in the lyrics.

When you wish upon a bird

Makes no difference how absurd

The chicken fairy hears each word

And all your dreams come true

I didn’t find any matches for Dad’s verse.

So do we have a case of independent parallel development? Or did Dad–whose grasp of melody was even worse than his rhythm–hear the Blanchard and Morgan song and sometime later warp it into something that matched his spotty recollection?

No way to know, of course. But “Legendary Chicken Fairy” made it to Number 38 on the Country chart in 1972. I’d have been of an age to find the concept of a chicken fairy hilarious*.

* That I still find it hysterical is irrelevant to this discussion.

I could even make a case for the theory that I heard the song, sang my best kid-memory version of it, and Dad, having no idea where it came from, modified it further.

As I said, there’s no way to know for certain, but to me the evidence suggests that our family Chicken Fairy is a derivative work. Which is not going to prevent me from singing it at the top of my lungs next time “When You Wish Upon a Star” comes on the radio.

Fair’s Fair

Can it really have been five years since we last went to a county fair?

I know we haven’t gone the last two years, for obvious reasons. But further back, my memory fails to confirm or refute attendance.

On one paw, scheduling time to go to a fair has been difficult for several years. On another, fairs are high on our list of priorities. On a third paw, I sometimes have trouble remembering what I had for lunch yesterday, much less a couple of weeks ago; three or four years is hopeless. But on the fourth paw, fair food is…memorable.

So, anyway, there was a Marin County Fair running up until the Fourth of July. I was working Monday, but I was off Sunday; the Fair had fireworks every night, and I had some cash in my wallet. Done deal.

The Fair was stripped down: almost all of the judging was done online and none of the indoor events or exhibits were happening–they’re supposed to return next year, COVID-19 willing.

But there were a few animals, including my favorite plush bunnies.

And the fluffy chickens Maggie likes.

And, while there were a few ducks in cages, there were significantly more of them roaming free.

The Fair’s focus this year was on vendors and carnival rides.

File this one under “Oh, hell no!”

This is a bit more my speed.

Okay, I exaggerate. If I’d gone on any rides, it would have been something in between those extremes. A carousel. Maybe a Ferris wheel.

The food offerings were a bit of a disappointment. Not in FairQuality, I hasten to add, but in cost and accessibility. I didn’t even consider the Lobster Fries when I learned the Fish & Chips I’d been pondering were $22–and the line looked to be on the order of a twenty minute wait just to order. How much of the cost was “Well, it’s Marin,” and how much was “COVIDflation” I wouldn’t even try to guess. And the lines were, I believe, a result of the plenitude of choices. With only one booth specializing in most flavors (fried stuff, bbq stuff, etc.) lines for the popular or unusual were inevitably going to get excessive.

I wound up with “California Fries”: French fries covered in refried beans, melted cheese, guacamole, sour cream, and carne asada. Basically, cross-cultural nachos. Good fair food and quite tasty. We didn’t quite manage dessert. No strawberry shortcake on offer and the funnel cake vendors (both of them) were only selling funnel cakes (and we’re not fond of those). So the only option for true FairDessert–deep fried Twinkies, Oreos, or some other thing that really shouldn’t be deep fried–was that fried stuff vendor with the twenty minute lines. Strawberry crepes might have done the job, but the crepe vendor’s line was even longer.

My arteries are grateful, even if my stomach and taste buds were (and still are) disappointed.

Anyway, strawberry shortcake notwithstanding, fireworks were the main reason I wanted to go to the fair.

We got good seats.

Maybe not quite as good as those people on the other side of the lake, but it’s hard to say. The show was aimed slightly toward our side, but explosions are largely omnidirectional, and the wind was blowing right-to-left, so the smoke didn’t block either side’s view. Call it a wash.

And the show was well worth it. Yes, the long lines, the high prices, the four hour wait on a backless bench–next time I’ll at least take a cushion–and even the traditional painful cold after the sun went down. From first boom, through rainbow arcs and blossoms (it was Out at the Fair day), several different variations on crackly/crinkly/twinkling, to the finale, one of the best low altitude shows I’ve seen.

Inevitably, it’s online. Not from the night we went, and not the best vantage point, but it’s almost like being there. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But if you crank up the air conditioner to chill your house to 40 degrees and full-screen the video, it’s a reasonable approximation.

Bottom line: A well-spent afternoon (sorry). Would go again.

Sedalia 2022

So, yes, Sedalia.

The festival came off, despite three musicians having to cancel due to COVID-19. Alternates were found, programming went on, and a good time was had by all. Or all in attendance, anyway. I won’t speak for those who were stuck at home. And more than a week after returning, I remain symptom-free, nor have I heard anything suggesting widespread post-festival infections.

The music was, as always, excellent. The upgraded Pavilion venue is a rousing success. And good fellowship ran rampant—unsurprisingly, variants of the phrase “it’s great to be back after two years” were heard everywhere. Arguably, heard a bit too much. Mad props to Taslimah Bey for being the only person* to refer on stage to those we’ve lost over the past two years, whether to COVID-19 or other causes.

* Granted, with three widely separated stages going at once, it’s possible I missed someone else making note of our losses during the outdoor sets. But she’s definitely the only one to comment during the concerts when—theoretically—everyone was present in one place.

I believe attendance was down—unsurprisingly—but there did seem to be more local residents attending than in years past.

One of those unable to attend, regrettably, was Bill McNally. Since Bill is the director for the Ragtime Kids Program, I was worried about how it would work out, but he pulled it off remotely. Both of the Kids did stellar turns—highlights of the festival IMNSHO. Leo Roth’s symposium was well worth getting up for* and Tadao Tomokiyo’s performances drew rave reviews.

* Why does the festival only schedule symposia in the morning? There always seems to be at least one I’d like to attend, but can’t quite drag myself out of bed for. Time zones suck.

The presentation of the Ragtime Kids at the Friday afternoon concert—you can see the whole event on YouTube—went smoothly. Those long, skinny things we gave them are inscribed piano keys; part of their loot bags, which also included posters, books, and their honoraria.

All in all, the festival was a success. But being in Sedalia was, well, uncomfortable. The inhabitants don’t think the same way as us West Coasters. Which I knew going in, but it was still a bit of a shock to see and hear it.

Case in point: over the four days we were there, we went into six restaurants. One had removed tables to allow more space between patrons. Only one—a different one—had added outdoor seating. No locals were wearing masks. And the drugstore we passed every day had a sign out front begging people to drop in for COVID-19 vaccinations (around here, you need an appointment, but apparently even that’s too much to ask of a Sedalian.)

Nor does there seem to be any recognition of climate change. As we were driving into town, we noted a significant paucity of corn fields. When we mentioned it to locals, the response was a shrug and “It’s been too wet to plant corn this year. Now that it’s drying out, we’re planting soybeans.” No one seemed concerned about next year.

But the biggest barrier to understanding between the edges of the country and the center? Gas.

My local gas station has the lowest prices around. When I passed it on my way to the airport, the price per gallon was $6.139. That day, prices everywhere between Kansas City and Sedalia were between $4.129 and $4.159. Over the course of the festival, the price rose to $4.549. When I got home, the California price was $6.359.

Sure, there were some grumbles about the high price of gas. But not the sort of “this is outrageous” rumblings that are driving Californians—and other Coasters—to buy hybrids and electrics. Why should they worry? Filling the tank doesn’t require a bank loan.

If the EPA really wants to drive adoption of alternatively powered vehicles, they should push for legislation setting a single price of gas across the country. Never fly, of course; the oil industry would love the short-term profits, but they’re smart enough to know the long-term effects would kill off their business. A pity.

Next Week

This time next week, I’ll be on my way to Sedalia for the Scott Joplin Ragtime Festival.

Yes, there’s an actual, in-person festival happening this year.

Is this a good idea? Well… On one forepaw, it is Missouri–which the Mayo Clinic says has the 40th lowest percentage of the population fully vaccinated. And we won’t even talk about masking.

On the other forepaw, the performers and audience are coming from all over the world. I suspect as a group they’re going to be more highly vaccinated than the people who live there. And there’s nothing stopping me, or anyone else in attendance, from wearing a mask.

In truth, the exposure risk seems on a par with what I experience dealing with the public every day at work.

So there’s that.

To be honest, I’m no more immune to the lure of “Get out of the house and do something normal” than anyone else. But this isn’t solely an exercise in COVID denial.

The cancelation of the 2020 festival was a big disappointment, even more so than the reasons why canceling everything else that spring and summer disappointed everyone. That was, if you recall, the Year of the Woman, marking the hundredth anniversary of women getting the vote in the US. And the Sedalia festival was going all-in on the theme, emphasizing female performers and composers.

And on a more personal level, 2020 was going to be the year the SJRF’s Ragtime Kid program–funded by donations to the Foundation in Dad’s memory–would debut. Obviously, that didn’t happen.

We used the time to refine our concepts, figuring to go live with the 2021 festival. Which also didn’t happen.

So now we’ve got 2021 and 2022 Ragtime Kids to introduce. Somebody’s got to be there to represent, right?

As if three-plus days of good music and catching up with friends we haven’t seen in three years isn’t enough incentive to attend*.

* And, of course, Sedalia is just about halfway between Kansas City and St. Louis. That’s prime BBQ country; hard to resist for a family that travels on its stomach as much as mine.

All of which is a long-winded lead-up to letting y’all know that there won’t be a Wednesday post next week. I’ll do my best to cue up a Friday post so nobody feels fuzzy-deprived, and I expect everything to be back to normal on June 8.

And, of course, this is also a commercial message, reminding you that the Foundation will still cheerfully accept donations in Dad’s memory and use them to support the Ragtime Kid program. Contact information is here.