I give up. Apple has officially torn my new product appreciation muscles.

This is, if I’ve counted correctly, the fifty-seventh product release announcement this year, and it’s still only October.

At this point, I just can’t get excited about them.

What’s new? I’m so glad you asked.

There’s an M2-based iPad Pro. Faster than the ancient M1-based devices, of course. And it can detect that you’re about to touch the screen with an Apple Pencil, allowing it to show appropriate previews: location and color if you’re in a drawing application, links if you’re using Safari, and so on.

Hey, a whole new plain old iPad iPad. Smaller bezels, TouchID on the power button, USB-C, and an A14 Bionic chip–yes, two generations behind the iPhone 14 Pro and Pro Max, and one generation behind every other non-M device Apple makes. Even the iPad Mini has a newer chip than this new iPad. But that’s okay, because Apple has only raised the price by about $150 over last year’s model. But, hey, if you can’t go on without a canary yellow iPad in your life, this is the only model that can keep you happy.

And finally, there’s a new Apple TV. Two, actually. They’re both running the A15 Bionic–yes, I was serious when I said everything Apple makes has a newer CPU than the new iPad–and both go up to 4K with support for HDR10+ and Dolby Vision*. The only significant difference for 95% of the user base is that the one with 64GB of storage is Wi-Fi only, while the one with 128GB has Wi-Fi and Ethernet. Which raises the question of why Apple is bothering with two model, especially since the price difference is a mere $20.

* If that string of letters and numbers is complete nonsense to you, just take it as “a bunch of video improvements that people have been clamoring for.

In short, and as usual, Apple’s message is “Bigger, stronger, faster” with an asterisk for the poor, neglected regular iPad. Hardly seems worth the effort of putting out a press release, doesn’t it?