Meet Mr. Mousiefish.

Mr. Mousiefish was Sachiko’s first toy. Oh, not this Mr. Mousiefish. He’s had nearly as many incarnations as The Doctor. Our best guess is that this is the Paul McGann of mousiefish–though the coloration suggests he may actually be the Sylvester McCoy.

Why so many? Mousiefish have rough lives around here–and, in fairness to Sachiko, she’s carrying on a tradition started by her Big Brudder Nookles. Sachiko’s first two mousiefish wound up buried in her litter box. Several others, her and ‘Nuki’s, have been drowned in various water bowls.

Despite what their anatomy might suggest, mousiefish can’t swim.

But Mr. Mousiefish is loved. Sachiko often hides him away between play sessions to protect him from the other cats, just as ‘Nuki once did. So when he meets his fate, he magically regenerates.

Other toys aren’t quite so fortunate.

Consider the sushi toy.

It may have once looked like a piece of tuna on a ball of rice–it even had a piece of “seaweed” when it was new–but we really, really don’t want it eaten. It’s been forcibly retired. And, while it has been replaced, the new sushi is an entirely different design and is made of much less shreddable materials.

We’re not sure what this toy’s origin story is.

It’s one that Sachiko made herself. It’s clearly been torn off of something larger (note the groove on the right side), but what, we have no idea. It’s heavy foam, which really shouldn’t show toothmarks, but the little beast has gnawed it enough that the left end is starting to fray.

Yes, this one’s been forcibly retired too. And it won’t be replaced.

So, yeah. Sachiko plays rough. I’m sure you can understand then, why we immediately said “No” when she showed us what she wanted for Christmas.

Yes, that is actual cat armor, and the link will take you to the seller’s page.

Please. Buy it before Sachiko swipes enough coins out of our pockets to buy it herself!