“Somebody around here needs to uphold proper standards of deportment. I don’t understand kids today, sprawling all over the bed, limbs splayed at ridiculous angles. It’s ugly and sloppy.


“Paws should be neatly folded under the body; who wants cold toes?

“And the tail should always be carefully positioned. I, of course, favor an elegant curl, but then, I am Siamese, and I honor my breed’s long history of tail curls, crooks, and jogs. Lesser breeds may be more comfortable merely tucking their tails against their bodies. But this business of draping it off the edge of the bed, or worse, lashing it about as though it were some kind of toy, even while sleeping! All I can say is I do not approve.

“Not one little bit.”