Yes, this really is the traditional Friday cat post. Bear with me a minute. We’ll get there.

MLB and the individual teams are always on the lookout for new promotional items. They’ve been making bobbleheads since 1960, and the Giants’ 1999 Willie Mays bobblehead is credited (or blamed, depending on your point of view) for permanently linking baseball and bobbleheads in the public consciousness.

So what did MLB do to keep collectors interested? Why, the gnome, of course. The inspiration is clearly the traditional garden or lawn gnome, but the baseball collectible version is smaller and lighter. I wouldn’t recommend putting them on your lawn, unless you want to watch the first breeze blow it down the street.

gn1Last year the Mariners released their first gnome, featuring Dustin Ackley. We got one because, well, because. But we figured one gnome was enough.

Trust the As to screw that resolution up. This year the As decided to give away a Coco Crisp gnome. Mr. Crisp is Kokoro’s favorite player (around our house, they share a nickname: he’s “Coco-poof” and she’s “Koko-poof”), so of course she immediately demanded her own Cocognome. How could we possibly have resisted her appeal?You will get me a gnome... or else!

gn2Circumstances conspired against actually attending the game where the gnomes were given away, but fortunately we were able to pick one up on eBay. It’s… disturbing.

Kokoro took one look at it and said “Who the heck is that?” She’s got a point. Coco-poof doesn’t look nearly so demonic in real life.

So Kokoro was dubious.

We called in Kaja for a second opinion. She wasn’t impressed either.

It’s been a couple of months, though, and Kokoro has become comfortable with Cocognome. She takes him everywhere, even into the bath.

So peace has been restored in the house.

A PS: Coco-poof is battling a chronic degenerative neck injury, and has been in and out of Oakland’s lineup this year. Despite our general disdain for the As, we have nothing but respect for Mr. Poof–sorry, Mr. Crisp–and hope he’ll return to action soon. Cocognome not withstanding, Ms. Poof misses the real thing.

6 thoughts on “Cocognome

  1. I’m always impressed by the teams that go the extra mile — like tossing in the nickle or two to design a bobblehead or gnome that actually sort of, kind of looks like the player they are celebrating. (The Orioles get their bargain basement bobbles by the truckload and then tape the name to the bottom, so you can tell the Nick Markakis from the Chris Tillman, etc., even though they are identical.)

    I hope you also have the Coco Crisp “Bernie Lean” bobble that shimmies from the hips up, because that is especially fabulous!

    My rally napkin ran out of mojo during last night’s Orioles/Angel’s game. I will be trying out new napkins for this weekend’s series. I suspect you will be doing the same. May the best paper product win!


    • That is a good point. Kudos for the As for (I presume) paying extra for a gnome that includes Coco’s beauty marks. I imagine they’re glad that he didn’t stick with his previous hairdo. Can you imagine what it would have cost them to do gnome with hair like this?

      No, I found the Bernie Lean thing extremely annoying. Wouldn’t have touched the bobblebody with a 36 ounce bat. OK, I probably would touch it with said bat. Repeatedly.

      What do I need a rally object for? The Ms just picked up two new bats. (But just in case, I’ve got a variety of objects to put on my head. Prepare yourself for the rally washcloth, the rally coffee mug, and–if things get really bad–the rally bed sheet with special eye-covering action.)


  2. Oh, you and your trade deadline shopping! Although we did scoop up a reliever for the next two months and only had to give up one of the highest-rated pitching prospects in baseball … but, I’m assured, it will be worth it. Still, the Orioles are all about keeping it cheap (I believe the word they use is “economical”), so I’m afraid they will rely heavily this weekend on the power of the rally napkin (stolen, of course, from dispensers at local fast food restaurants, because that’s the way we do in Baltimore).


    • Hey, come on. I’m just giddy with excitement over the Ms being buyers at the deadline! It’s been so long, I’d forgotten how good it feels.

      Baseball: the only place where you can use the word “economical” with a straight face while dealing with salaries that start at half a million bucks.

      So if I follow you correctly, this weekend’s experiments will be to determine what kind of fast food napkin produces the most runs from the Orioles? Phrased that way, the question almost answers itself, doesn’t it?


    • Hard to be sure. I’ve heard from two of the three camps (the cat post haters and the ones who like both sets of posts), but I haven’t seen or heard anything from the known baseball post haters. Maybe over the weekend; lately traffic has been peaking on Sundays.

      I may not be able to do anything about the Mess in the Middle East, but I’d like to think I’m doing something to promote World Peace.


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