I Beg Your Pardon?!

What do you mean, it’s your chair?


Look, I’m doing this for your health. No, really. Think of all the calories you’ll burn if you read the paper standing up. Or don’t read it at all. It’ll only depress you and get ink all over your hands.

Of course that’s my only motive! You don’t think I want to lie here on the chair all day, do you? I could be sleeping on the bed with my sister.

Or my brother.

Or all by myself on Mommie’s pillow.

Or, heck, I could just flake out on the stairs.

But no, I’m making a great personal sacrifice to protect you from yourself.

You what? You insist?!

Fine. Be that way. There are plenty of other places I can curl up and snooze.

Just don’t come crying to me when you want to wash the ink off.

What? Oh, damn!

2 thoughts on “I Beg Your Pardon?!

  1. Your cat chose your chair over sitting on a newspaper? My cats will always choose a newspaper — even over the soft, warm cat beds we have for them. If the newspaper is open, and being read, it becomes even more irresistible. (One of our cats beds down every night inside the newspaper recycle crate. She gets more benefits out of my journalism degree than I do!)


    • If I recall correctly, he had already finished reading the paper with his butt. I had read the first section with his help, then he moved to the chair when I got up to get some tea.

      Cat beds may be the single most pointless purchase one can make. The chances that any cat will use it enough to justify the purchase price are somewhere between “slim” and “snowball in hell”.


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