I’m introducing a new feature to the blog: “Who QAed This Shit?” or WQTS for short. Today’s appearance will be a full-length post, after that it will be an occasional short, extra post.
Because my thoughts turn towards food this time of year, all of today’s examples will be food-related. Oh, who am I trying to kid? My thoughts turn towards food throughout the year. Just because all of today’s WQTSs are food-related, don’t expect them all to be. After all, the BART contract and the new Bay Bridge are both shining examples of WQTSs.
First up, we’ve got a double-header:
Tiger Tiger brand tandoori paste wishes you to know that it is “suitable for vegetarians & vegans”. I’ll keep that in mind the next time I want to cook a vegan or vegetarian. (I’m inclined to think that the statement is also redundant: I’ve yet to encounter anything that was suitable for a vegan that wasn’t also suitable for a vegetarian. I welcome your counter-examples.)
Once you open the jar, please be aware that you have a limited amount of time to use the paste before it goes bad: three months or until the “best before” end date, whichever comes first. Fortunately, it will keep until you’re ready to open it. This bottle won’t reach its “best before” date for almost a thousand years:
Careful, though. You don’t want to try it on the afternoon of 15 January 3009!
The Sizzler restaurants recently added cornbread and chili con carne to their soup and salad bar. They’re very proud of the new additions and have signs advertising them all over the restaurant. They seem to be just a little unclear on the concept of what cornbread is supposed to be, though (click for a closer view):
Why yes, it did taste remarkably like a chocolate brownie. Good thing I had it for dessert instead of dipping it in my chili.
Nation’s Great Pies invites us to “Order and prepay your holiday pie today!”
Isn’t it a little counterproductive to be paying the pie? Wouldn’t everyone involved be happier if I paid the restaurant? I’ll be happy to prepay for my pie, as long as somebody first explains what I am supposed to be ordering the pie to do…
Finally for today, I bring you these helpful instructions from Nissin’s Ramen Bowl:
Sorry, but if you’re going to provide a step-by-step procedure to do anything, you need to be very sure you haven’t left any steps out. I would have liked the noodles considerably more if I been able to open the lid before stirring and enjoying.
Koi Scribblings 
Love WQTS. I have to find and send you my favorite instructions for using a Chinese lantern that floats like a hot air balloon.
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Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, please do send the instructions. Sounds like a real winner!
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You hit the nail on the head with this one. So many things I come across make blood seep from my eyes trying to figure out what they are trying to say. Maybe if everything we bought did not originate in China we would be better off.
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I’ll grant you that imported products are frequently the worst offenders when it comes to misused English. (Anyone who doubts that, take five minutes looking at Engrish.com and you’ll agree…) In all fairness, though, I’m sure I would do even worse trying to write instructions in any non-English language.
But it’s a bad rap in this case. Two of my four examples were American restaurants (Nation’s is a small chain here in the San Francisco area, and Sizzler has restaurants across the country, though mostly in the west.)
The problem really isn’t ignorance or malice. IMNSHO, it comes down to people not paying attention or not taking a few seconds to think about the ultimate consumer of their work.
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